Cold Feet
by Kinetic Dream
Summary: The night before his wedding, Yamato enjoys one last night out with his friends and tries to come to terms with his feelings for Taichi.


Kin Notes: Smiting Evil! Same deal as before, a one shot, though I'm digging a little deeper this time and writing something I usually don't, a pairing with two guys. Of course, if you're noticing that romance isn't the primary category, I imagine you can draw your own conclusions.

I realize there are a lot of stories with this particular pairing, but I felt the need to write this, to help me get a better understanding of how I handle same sex pairings, and Tai just happens to be the male character I connect best with right now. So, reviews are certainly encouraged to tell me how to better represent. Capturing drunk Taichi was rather difficult, but it should become easier to read as he sobers up.

And in case you simply _have_ to know, the 'boys' are in their early twenties. (except poor T.K.)

Rating: T, for mild sexual references, drinking, and profanity

Synopsis: The night before his wedding, Yamato enjoys one last night out with his friends and tries to come to terms with his feelings for Taichi.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Original copy write belongs to Toei Animation and Bandai. This is not being used in any way to profit myself aside from comments I receive.

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**Cold Feet**

Music pounded through the club, the small group of friends laughing with one another as they prepared to send off one of their own, one Yamato Ishida, former teenage rock star, currently a small time record producer. 'Matt' had everything to the casual observer, attractive in the 'classic' male sense, he could pull off mildly long hair easily, elegant facial features, likely due in part to his European descent, and rich crystalline blue eyes which served to compliment silky blonde hair. Moreover, he had the heart of Sora Takenouchi, an up and coming amateur tennis player who happened to be garnering a lot of attention over the past few months, both as a player and an athletic model. Naturally, with a media darling of the moment and a former front man for one of the hottest young bands in Japan getting married, there was a constant buzz about what was between the two of them.

Of course, the media would never really know the two's greatest accomplishment, saving the lives of everyone on the planet, first from being enslaved by a maniacal vampire, then saving existence itself from an overly depressed shadow beast, but they didn't mind. They were quite content for the secret to remain just between the small circle of friends, and their families, it saved some of the shyer members of the group from being swarmed. Of course, their leader was anything but shy.

"Yamato!" Taichi cooed flinging his arm around his friend's shoulders, grinning and cracking their beer bottles together as he did. "Yer a lucky sunufabish, ya'know? I'd do jus'bout anyt'ing ta get with Sora, and yer makin' me look bad, makin'er squeal ev'ry time ya flip yer 'air in 'er direction."

"Don't you think you've had enough Tai?" Matt sighed, returning his friend's affections with little more than a grunt and the roll of his eyes. Tai had been, for the most part, very good about staying quiet when it came to the relationship between he and Sora, even when they decided to start dating, he'd done nothing but support them. Still, he was a little less in control when he got drunk, and the more he drank, the worse he'd get. Tai only laughed, leaning in close to Matt, his cheeks flushed with alcohol.

"Waaah? C'mon 'mato! This is our las' night as single men, we're never gonna be able ta do this again." Tearing up, he began sobbing into his arm, obviously exaggerating the action. "Y-Yer leavin' us Matt, I'll never fergive ya!"

"As a medical student, I'm going to have to say that he's had more than his fair share, and that we should cut him off before he gets us into trouble." Joe Kido, ever the voice of reason, leaned back in his chair, smiling a little as he continued to nurse his first drink of the night. Matt had to wonder sometimes if he came on these 'guys nights' just to keep an eye on all of them, and bought a beer just to fit in, because he rarely ever made it past the first. "This is supposed to be a celebration after all."

"An'at's why we should get fightin' drunk. Show these lightweights 'oo's boss!"

Koushiro sighed and got to his feet, forcing their 'courageous leader' back into his seat with a little help from Matt's younger brother Takeru. The first was one of the most brilliant people Matt had ever had the privilege of meeting, capable of dissecting anything, computer programs, chemical formulas, even people's reactions, down to the bare bones, always having an answer for everything. Sure it made him seem like a know it all, but the cool air of detachment he held around himself made him that much more interesting to the rest of the group, a strong counter balance to the hot-headedness of Taichi.

T.K. grinned a little, leaning heavily on Tai's right shoulder in order to keep him seated. The youngest member of the original DigiDestined, and yet he somehow managed the maturity of Joe, as long as Davis wasn't around to mock him. Izzy coughed, leaning against the opposite side of his long-time friend.

"While I'm sure that would be entertaining for you Tai, the rest of us aren't exactly in any shape to get into a fist fight with anyone, much less a barroom brawl," Izzy said, rubbing the tip of his nose lightly, earning him a rather curious look from the drunk.

"C'mon Izzy, yer lettin' all that 'private training' go ta waste," his voice trailed off as a devious and perverse look crossed his features. "'ow is she by the way? Ya never tell us." Ignoring his friend's stammering, Tai continued. "I bet she does it hard'n'fast, I always figgered she w-"

"Tai, can't you ever stop while you're ahead?" T.K. sighed, his hand covering the squirming man's mouth. "Sorry Izzy, we probably should have cut him off a little while ago."

"It's all right," he grumbled, waving his hand absently as Matt smiled at the four of them. Sure they were different, really different in some cases. Taichi was the athlete and leader, Koushiro the resident genius, Joe the wet towel and voice of reason, and Takeru was the artistic one, not to mention unusually upbeat and filled with optimism. Yamato sighed slightly as he leaned back, watching them casually as Tai struggled to get back to his feet, shouting about how 'the man wasn't going to keep him down'.

It was so much easier to see where they fit in to the equation, looking out at their respective personalities, but much more difficult to look at himself and figure out where he stood. Not that this was anything new, he'd always felt like the outsider, feeling as if whatever role he had could easily be removed and the group dynamic would remain unchanged. Maybe that's why he'd drifted away, unintentionally of course. Joe had on purpose, throwing himself into his studies but Izzy and Tai had always been close, and with his younger brother admiring the leader of the team, they'd stayed close as well. To be honest, he felt rather lonely that night, despite being surrounded by the men he'd walked through fire with ten years ago.

"Joe?" he finally asked, looking up at the still seated doctor to be, figuring he would be the best to ask. He might sugar coat it, but he'd never been anything if not honest, and that was what Matt really needed right now. "What do you think of me?"

Blinking, Joe placed his drink down on the table, rubbing the slight depression between his lower lip and chin in silence. "I'm not sure that I follow, but I think I know why you're asking. You're still feeling a little unsure about tomorrow, wondering if you can be the man that Sora needs in her life, to give her the security and freedom she wants."

As all the eyes at the table turned to him, Matt quietly cursed, lowering his eyes and nodding, muttering under his breath, "Yeah, something like that. I'm just, still wondering what you think of me, even after all these years."

Joe glanced to the others, frowning seriously. He was honest and truthful, sure, but he wasn't exactly the most eloquent when it came to speaking his mind, he usually left that to Tai, Matt, Mimi and Jun. Though with the two most outspoken of that small group rather preoccupied with Sora's preparations for tomorrow, another asking the question and the only one remaining well beyond smashed, the role would naturally fall to him, the eldest and supposedly most experienced.

"W-well Matt, we've know each other a long time, and we've been through a lot," he stammered, scratching the back of his head nervously. This really wasn't his strong suit at all.

"Yer the same person ya've always been, Yamato," Taichi said quickly, obviously struggling through the drunken haze to make some kind of sense, the eyes at the table quickly moving to him, Joe sighing inwardly in relief. At least at first.

"Yer a dick, cold as 'ell ta anyone who tries ta get close ta ya, over protective, a ruthruss… rooflush… a heart-breaker, and an all around arrogant bastard," Tai explained, counting off the five points on his fingers as he stared up at the ceiling, the rest of the group rather stunned at his forwardness, they hadn't seen him this bad since his clashes with Matt on their first trip to the Digital World. The only exception seemed to be Matt himself who was doing a rather good job of holding the table in place in case it should decide to put its legs to use and start walking. Just as he was about to speak however, Tai cut him off.

"But 'ere's no one else I'd rather trust ta have my back," he said solemnly as he nodded his head. "Matt, you bring out the best 'n' worse in alla us, an' it's 'cause yer those things, ya push us to the edge and then beyond, 'n an attempt to prove you wrong. You never let us stay content, an' keep pushin' us forward, towards… wherever it is we're headed."

Yamato felt his heart pounding in his ears, head aching ever so slightly. The most frustrating member of the group, Taichi Yagami, complete with a bush hairstyle that seemed too big for his head, though he'd grown into it over the past ten years and it wasn't _quite_ as out of control as it had been. While Mimi might have been bearer to the Crest of Sincerity, Tai ran a definite close second at least when it came to him, always up for an argument and, on several occasions, fist fights when push came to shove. Part of him despised the fact that he always knew what to say at the right time, and knew just how to piss him off in the worst way.

But those same qualities were the ones that he loved about his closest friend; Tai could get him to feel more impassioned than even Sora could with her best 'tough girl' attitude, it was just one of the young man's many talents. Sure it wasn't always in a positive way, but at times like this, Tai could make his heart pound incessantly, move something inside of him and make him feel alive. He'd been suppressing it for years, devoted his time to Sora, who he did in fact love, but that didn't change the fact that every time Taichi struck a chord, it reverberated through Yamato, often echoing back years after it'd been plucked into existence.

"Matt?" T.K. frowned, walking over and waving a hand in front of his brother's face, smiling slightly as his brother snapped back to reality. "C'mon, we're headed back to the hotel. Tai's starting to looking like he's about to pass out and I'm not looking to carry him any further than I have to."

Nodding in agreement, Yamato led the way out of the still roaring club, the beat gradually fading away to vibrations under his feet as they hit the street. The ride back in Joe's car was rather uneventful, save for Taichi passing out on Takeru's shoulder and proceeding to cover it in drool, to which the younger blonde was quite irritated about. So much so in fact that it fell to Matt to get the poor brunette back to his room, T.K. refusing to help after Tai ruined such a fine shirt.

"Hnn, yer a great guy, buddy," Tai grinned, sitting up as soon as he was unceremoniously shoved onto the mattress by a tired Matt. Sitting down across from him, Matt smiled and shook his head a little bit, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm never going drinking with you again Tai, you're too much trouble for me to have any fun you realize that?"

"Yeah," he sighed tiredly, glancing around with half lidded eyes. "I just- I guess I'm just gonna miss you Matt. After our adventure, it was great for a while, then we all just kinda drifted apart I guess, you especially. It kinda hurt, after all we'd been through together jus' ta see you go back to the way you were, at least sorta anyway." Grinning, he opened his eyes a little wider, obviously struggling to stay conscious and get this off his chest.

"You guys." Matt couldn't help chuckling as he looked at the exhausted leader of the group, shaking his head slightly. "Wasn't it you who said that I'm the pusher of the group, the one that keeps things together?"

"Hell'nah! What th' hell're you sayin' now? I'm the glue, remember!"

"Yeah, yeah you are."

"'N you best remember it," Tai grumbled, beginning to settle back down again. "But you're definitely somethin' to us Matt, you bring a sort of fire 'n' spirit to the group that no one else does, a desire to succeed at everything we put our minds to, regardless of how tough the road might be." Turning to the window, he sighed, soaking in the lights of the city around the relatively small building. "…It might've started with mocking us for our faults, but you helped us accept'em and grow stronger as a group, you helped to make the dynamic keep working. There's a chance we could've worked together from the start, but by makin things difficult for us, you forced us to grow, and you helped us all become what we are now."

Again, Yamato was forced into silence, watching his friend, the words still echoing in his ears. The fact that Taichi, the closest thing he'd ever let himself admit to being a best friend and rival, had let out that he accepted and appreciated the coldness he considered to be an obvious flaw made him feel, uneasy. He was doing it again, making his heart pound in his ears, the blood rush to his cheeks, and making it even more difficult to resist the brashness in his friend that he'd always despised and admired.

"Matt," Tai started, turning to face the blonde again, probably to launch into another tirade only to find himself face to face with the blue eyed former musician. His breath caught and Matt sized the opportunity.

The silence during the moment was awkward, but probably what disturbed him the most was, that despite the passion Taichi made him feel when he provoked him, he only felt a deepening pain in his heart when he acted on it. Taichi could make him feel over the littlest things, yes, but he couldn't match the contentment that Sora provided him each and every day. Tai provoked him, Tai made him love and despise him at the same time, but Tai couldn't give him the stability of the relationship he had to the woman he was marrying. So he did what he always did, he pulled away.

Only the silence didn't break, and Tai simply kept staring at him, wide eyed, obviously very confused as to what had just transpired. Matt blushed, snorting indecisively and turning his head away as he got up, brushing some of his hair behind his ear, trying to appear as if he'd done it for some other reason than to see what it would be like; to savor the last opportunity he'd have after the wedding.

"Don't read too much into it."

"…What'm I suppose to read into?" he laughed, raising an eyebrow. "I think it's out there clear as day, and I'm surprised that no one else has picked up on it yet."

"You're full of shit!" Yamato snapped, glaring at his friend.

"And you like men!" Tai smirked, obviously getting quite the kick out of this revelation. "I should have known, a pretty boy like you would be. You like to be on bottom, right? Does Sora know? She must, I bet she likes to watch…"

"Shut your damn mouth!"

"Don't worry Matt, your secret's safe with me," Tai laughed, winking. "But just to make sure I don't forget tonight, could y-" His voice paused mid stride as his expression changed violently.

"I told you to drop it, okay? I just wanted to shut you up. Y-you're my friend and I wanted to show you some appreciation for the things you said tonight, and for being honest with me every time I've asked and even when I haven't. And for keeping me in line," Matt grumbled, still embarrassed that he'd done what he did and conveniently oblivious to his friend's plight. Though after the taunting didn't pick up again, he turned and regarded him curiously. "…Taichi?"

"…_Bathroom_..." he hissed, holding a hand to his mouth and rushing through the small room, clawing desperately towards the door. Matt sat in shock as he heard the door bang open and retching sounds following quickly after, along with grunts of pain and discomfort. Tai probably wouldn't remember much of anything about tonight, not after all he'd had to drink, so the kiss, the conversation, and any explanation he might try to give was most likely moot at this point.

With a heavy sigh, Matt got to his feet, brushing his backside off involuntarily as he walked to comfort his friend. After all, he couldn't leave his best man to drown with his head in the toilet in the early hours of his wedding day; Sora would never let him hear the end of it.


End file.
